so this is what my head told me ... "go wireless and everything will be fantastic"
... my home will become a haven of modern techology, with music, sound and vision in every room. Movies on demand, and no more sitting at a desk to surf the net .... it will be great for my recovery, i can surf sober sites and blogs from the couch or my bed ..... blah blah blah.
The good news is that my quick fix of the week wasnt a drink or a drug. This time it was an expensive new laptop and a wireless router .....
Of course after 10 minutes i realised it wasnt going to cure all my problems, but i am happy to have this setup, its very exciting.
Having said that, i havent made it to a meeting in nine days, until today. Saturday. phew. Time to breathe.
In bed for 2 days, off sick from work. Heavy cold. The real deal. (i think) - although still LOADS of guilt, hungover from when my reasons for not going to work werent quite as valid ...... heavy workload, very stressful working environment, visitors to the office from the US, things going on .... kids at the weekend ....
its so easy to let "anything" get in the way of getting to meetings. Makes it worse when they are valid reasons, I am tired, and stress ....
But the point is .... well, I stayed sober. Didnt even contemplate a drink or a drug any more than the usual. But missing meetings like that AINT a good idea for me. I lose my center. I lose perspective. I start snapping at people at work .... stress shows. I go out and buy expensive laptops and wireless routers that i cant afford ....
So going to a meeting today was awesome. i feel centered, balanced, and reconnected. am planning another, possibly 2, tomorrow.
i love recovery, i love AA, i love being sober.
i just need to remind myself that its because of meetings, and putting the work in, and my higher power, that i am in position to love those things, and many more.
i mustnt forget.
